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  #1  
Old 09-06-2010, 12:20 AM
shebst shebst is offline
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Cool How do you stay strong and motivated?

How do you stay strong during these contests when there is no one around you that is supportive. I am already having a hard time not getting frustrated and discouraged because my husband keeps eating "forbidden" things in front of me and laughing. I think this is kind of a joke to him. I don't think anyone around me is taking me seriously or doesn't seem to think I can do this. It is very disheartening when I am very serious about this life change.

Ugh.,.. this is going to be a looooooong 12 weeks!!!
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  #2  
Old 09-06-2010, 03:06 PM
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midwestj midwestj is offline
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The first few weeks can be hard, especially when you don't have a good support system yet. First I think you need to tell everyone about what you are doing and your goals, the more people who know the more who can support you. Maybe you should have a serious talk with your husband about this and your goals and about how you need his support. As soon as you get going on your journey its kind of hard not to tell people about what you are doing, you become more confident and proud of what you are doing. I get high fives and good jobs all the time now for the changes I have made, it just takes a month or so. Try to visualize what you want to look like. Write down your goals. I just feel like the more people I tell about my transformation the more motivated I get. The results will come sooner than you expect. Its definitely worth it and you should never give up. You have to want it from deep inside.

Also I don't think any foods should be forbidden, I tell myself I choose not to eat that. Choosing not to is always better than being told not to right? Besides we are making changes for the rest of our life, so if you have a piece of pie or some cheat food once in a while for a special occasion thats fine.
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  #3  
Old 09-06-2010, 06:11 PM
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larmer larmer is offline
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I agree with MidwestJ. There are no 'forbidden' foods just foods you choose not to eat. Have a talk with your husband. He is acting in a non-loving fashion.

Tell others in your social circle what you are going and that you are looking for support. You will find friends who want to support you. Spend more time whether face to face or by telephone or e-mail sharing your experiences and getting support from them. It that means less time with non-supportive people so be it. You need to do this for yourself.

Good luck.
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  #4  
Old 09-06-2010, 09:18 PM
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Starbuck1517 Starbuck1517 is offline
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I agree with what others have said so far. You should talk to your husband and let him know that it is really important to you that you have his support. Tell him that you want to improve your health so you can be happier and healthier now and in the future, which will give him an even better wife. Once my husband started to see my mood improve so greatly from exercising, and saw the gains I was making in strength and fitness, it motivated him to go back to weight training, and eventually into TT workouts too-he and I were both finalists in the last contest. You may be surprised at what happens as you get into the groove-your husband may find you an inspiration!

I know it's not much consolation when he's snacking in front of you, but it's just a reality that men can just eat more food than us. One of the biggest problems that caused me to gain 30 lbs over the 3 years prior to mid-2009 was that I got into the bad habit of eating just like my husband-same foods, same portions. Brian has a super fast metabolism and he literally has to eat >3000 calories a day to gain muscle. You can bet in the last contest when I was eating 1700 cal a day to lose fat and he was eating 2500-3000 cal, eating (healthy) snacks at night, and eating large meals, I gave him the finger more than once. He wasn't trying to piss me off intentional-he just flat out has to eat a ton to gain weight. He did improve the quality of what he was eating based on my example. We've cut out sugary and processed foods almost completely and both feel much better as a result.

I had a much harder time with my mother in law trying to push food on me all the time but I developed a mantra that I told myself (and her when she got too insistent-"Oh, just one piece of cheesecake won't hurt you etc")-I would say, "That food is not going to get me where I want to be." And if pressed I would say,"Some people are lucky-they can eat whatever they want and have a great body. I am not lucky like that-I have to eat a certain way to get results." That usually worked, and once she started to see my results and how great I felt, she stopped giving me a hard time.

As far as support, first of all, you always have people here. We know you can do it, we've all been there at that moment when we decided to make that change, and we've all been through rough spots but have made a long-term commitment to health, no matter what bumps and slip-ups come along the way. If you can, identify some additional people, somewhere (work, gym, etc) that will be supportive to you. Also if you can, download Craig's podcasts. I find them tremendously helpful-listening to his voice telling me I can do it, listening to his advice-that really helped get me started and keep me motivated, especially in the beginning when I went back to weights and intervals.

Good luck, and keep your chin up! You can do this. When it comes down to it you're not doing this for anyone else but yourself. You can turn to others for support, but they can't do the workouts for you or change your eating habits. You have to find the conviction within yourself that you CAN do this, and just keep feeding that fire. No matter what anyone else tells you!!!
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Contest #7 thread: http://forum.ttmembers.com/showthread.php?t=8167
Contest #8 thread: http://forum.ttmembers.com/showthread.php?t=8904
Contest #9 thread: http://forum.ttmembers.com/showthread.php?t=9480
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  #5  
Old 09-06-2010, 09:56 PM
galaxy galaxy is offline
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Hi Shebst

Welcome to the forum and the contest. I have just posted under Galaxy going for gold, I understand entirely where you are coming from. I didnl;t have the support of my husband last time around and I found it really frustrating.

To help get your husband get on board, show him the past contest before/after photos, show him what a difference this contest will make to you and to him. Get him to read the essays and see what other contests say. My husband is now doing TT workouts and is really impressed with how efficient and quickly he can see the difference. Eating will be the big thing, but if we have a goal in mind it will really help.

It will be worth it in the end, keep thinking of those clothes you want to fit in, it's the little steps to get you where you want to be. I know in myself I am a much happier and nicer person to live with if I can fit into my clothes! My day starts off so much better if I have a choice over what I can wear to work, I know that sounds shallow but honestly it makes for a better day if I feel better in what I am wearing.

I am with you on being able to go out and buy new clothes too, I have had too many episodes in changing rooms when I catch sight of what I actually look like undressed!

Keep posting on the forum, it does help, even me replying to you now is helping me! It's reminding me of why I am doing this.

I look at girls in the gym and am envious of their lovely trim figures, one girl in particular I envied then I found out that she has been over weight and had struggled with her weight too and also had children.

There was me thinking that she was one of those girls that was naturally thin and didnt have the worries or time constraints of children and family etc! How wrong was I!!

She had decided to enter a body buidlers contest and that was her goal and motivations to lose the weight and stick with it. And she looks amazing now. Not totally muscly but really toned and slim!

This contest is our motivation and goal, stick with it and we will get there.

Hope this has helped and if you want to PM that's fine, if you want to buddy up, then let me know, I am also from the UK, but am living in NZ at the moment, so we have the time difference and a severe lack of food choice , they don't do hardly any low fat food choices here compared to the UK, so we all have our challenges!

Keep up the great work

cheers for now

Galaxy
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  #6  
Old 09-07-2010, 12:48 AM
shebst shebst is offline
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Thank you to all of you for your words of encouragement. This weekend was difficult but I am starting this new week with a new commitment and resolve to DO this and stick with it. I am not going to settle for "just ok" no matter what anyone around me may say.

You all are the best and I am so grateful for your advice and encouragement!!!!!
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  #7  
Old 09-06-2010, 09:31 PM
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RobB RobB is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shebst View Post
How do you stay strong during these contests when there is no one around you that is supportive. I am already having a hard time not getting frustrated and discouraged because my husband keeps eating "forbidden" things in front of me and laughing. I think this is kind of a joke to him. I don't think anyone around me is taking me seriously or doesn't seem to think I can do this. It is very disheartening when I am very serious about this life change.

Ugh.,.. this is going to be a looooooong 12 weeks!!!
Do it for YOURSELF!!!.. I am in the same boat. The wife is pretty heavy, and she buys CRAP all the time. She doesnt usually eat all of it, and throws it away..i.e. pastries for breakfast etc. etc. She always has cookies, pop tarts or something around. Luckily I can leave that stuff alone. She works about 3 nights a week, so there are only a few nights that we all eat together. So then, I eat whatever she makes, otherwise I make my own healthy stuff. (If I didnt eat what she fixes, I think WWIII would be started) You will need to get into the right mindset to not eat that stuff and shrug off all the "guff" from your husband............show him a NEW YOU, for Christmas!!!!!!!! Good luck to you!!!
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  #8  
Old 09-07-2010, 12:49 AM
shebst shebst is offline
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Thanks Rob,

Good to know I am not the only one who deals with this stuff. Thanks for the encouragement.

Faye
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  #9  
Old 09-08-2010, 03:00 PM
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RobB RobB is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shebst View Post
Thanks Rob,

Good to know I am not the only one who deals with this stuff. Thanks for the encouragement.

Faye

You're welcome. I deal with it, day in and day out........the granddaughter and all her friends like those freeze pops ( flavored sugarwater in a plastic sleeve )....those are my downfall, and if I have a couple, then I start looking for something to EAT.......so, I try to avoid those, too.........I am a sugarholic..........
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  #10  
Old 09-08-2010, 04:54 PM
jenniferlynne76 jenniferlynne76 is offline
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Ah yes...I'm one of those, too. A sugaraholic, I mean. In fact, I find a much greater sense of control when I just avoid the substance altogether. Really, much like an alcoholic needs to avoid drink. I'm not so convinced the two things are all that dissimilar.

-Jen
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